(Thriving Men App readers, listen to the podcast under Podcast: Slow and Steady)
There is a sure way to make your life and the lives of those around you miserable. Decide to make trivial events tragic events. Take these inconsequential issues in your life and dramatize them in epic proportions.
Miserable Action One
Did your wife eat the last piece of pie? Well then, sound the alarms and blow the trumpets, for Helen of Troy was just abducted. Mount your ships and wage your war. Let no one sleep in the house until justice is served. How dare she be so presumptive! She knows you love my apple pie after dinner.
Did your husband not consult you before he withdrew a small amount from the checking account? Sound the liberty bell! No taxation without representation. You should throw his stuff out on the street tea party style. That’ll teach that tyrant to mess with you. You have right and ought to proclaim your declaration of independence. How dare he not ask before buying new underpants!
Miserable Action Two
After the smoke settles and you start to feel stupid for your overreaction, just keep reminding yourself of other insignificant actions your spouse has done. This will help ease the guilty feeling and shame that often comes soon acting like a two-year old.
Miserable Action Three
If this does not help, make sure to call someone to assist you in justifying yourself. You need to make sure the person you are calling is not a reasonable person. You won’t want them to start asking questions and shifting the discussion to how you contributed to the fight.
Miserable Action Four
If for some reason you are unable to reach anyone who fits the above criteria, you can always complain to your children. Don’t worry, they don’t mind hearing about how one of their parents is always failing. Now, you have to be careful here because if your children are bright, they might point out your stupidity. If this happens, just turn your anger against them and remind them of all their faults and how they are so much like their mother (or father).
Miserable Action Five
In the rare cases when everyone seems to be turning against you, the easiest thing to do is the silent treatment. Just cut yourself off from everyone. I mean they are all to blame anyways. I know it sounds crazy to think that all your loved one’s could be so unreasonable, but just remember, you have to be right. You are just the victim. You did nothing wrong. Everyone is just being mean to you. Maybe you should go get some ice cream. That will make you feel better.
A Non-Miserable Action For Easy Relationships
There’s one of possibility I have not yet addressed. You could always just overlook small infractions. I don’t want to be too audacious here, but you could just give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. I once heard a rumor that your reaction should meet the crime. So maybe epic reactions should be reserved for epic catastrophes.
I am just saying . . .